Consistency is the slogan in child-rearing. It is what defines your conduct in speech, expression, and in action (as relates to you and your child and others).

When you are not consistent, you expose your weaknesses and your kids learn to control you. You are only human, and it's a serious undertaking to achieve consistency.

Here are some useful tips:

In order to remain calm and maintain consistency, you need to formulate a plan. You know your situation, and you should prepare to deal with parenting issues before they grow into a problem - nip 'em in the bud.

Once you have a plan, you will be able to act in a confident manner, rather than running around in a panic.

Without that plan, you will be shooting from the hip, which can be quite detrimental to the needs of your child. For example, if you lose your temper on one occasion and react differently than the next time the situation pops up, you're sending confusing signals to the child who doesn't know who takes his or her cues from you.

Decide beforehand which battles are worth fighting - and chill out about the others. The rule here is that if you make a rule, you MUST enforce it - every time without fail. If you are not prepared to do that, then clearly the rule is not that important, in which case you should drop it.

For example - putting their feet on the sofa. Allowed, or not allowed? It's your choice - but whichever way you decide, stick with it. Don't tell them to get their feet off one day, and then allow it the next.

If you think back on all the disputes that cause you the greatest stress, you will probably find that many of them are in these grey areas. You can't be an effective parent and sit on the fence. Once you decide which way you way to jump, you will find that much of that stress goes away.

Consistency essential and can be achieved by planning ahead. You should sit down and lay everything out by discussing your rules and expectations.

Some parents find it difficult to decide on the most fundamental ways of handling situations. This often stems from the fact that their own parents weren't consistent.

You can only be true to yourself.

If your behavior is not consistent, then the situation can become so bad that the parent loses all control. This kind of situation should not be allowed to continue. It is time to think seriously about your relationship and what to do about it. The children will learn to disrespect all types of authority, and you will lose respect for yourself.

Remember, if you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got... if you want something to change, YOU will have to do something about it. Don't keep waiting for someone else to change first.